we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
