i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
