Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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