you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Mom said you looked used
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
