I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
