508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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