Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
okay pat passed out under dana's car
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
