i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My feet surprised me
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
