Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
