I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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