i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want to make out with him forever
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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