Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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