i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
