so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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