Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
