Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
