i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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