I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He felt like a one man threesome
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The adults are the big ones right?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
