are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Panties = found
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
