I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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