I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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