Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I intend to get homeless drunk
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
