wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
