Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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