love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
