its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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