It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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