He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
