This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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