ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
