My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
