so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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