bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
