Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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