that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
