Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
kristin has been a bad kristin
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
