In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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