Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
