Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
