508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
