oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
