I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize