Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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