i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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