obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
