i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You need Xanax blowdarts
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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