U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
