Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
