He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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