she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
