I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
